10 Self-Help Books Everyone Should Read in their 20s
According to Wikipedia, “A self-help book is one that is written to instruct its readers on solving personal problems”.
We all have experienced how pandemic has to bring new problems and struggles in our day-to-day life.
With the unemployment level at an all-time high and to increase in cases of depression and suicide, there is negativity everywhere.
So this is a short effort to share some positivity.
Here are my top 10 self-help books which I recommend everyone to read as they will give some best life hacks of life and a new way of thinking.
1) The courage to be disliked.
The book is based on the ideology of Alfred Adler who was the architect of the school of individual psychology.
Secondly, The entire book is in the layout of a dialogue between a philosopher and a youth. It goes like
On the outskirts of the thousand-year-old city lived a philosopher who taught that the world was simple and that happiness was within the reach of every man, instantly.
A young man who was dissatisfied with life went to visit this philosopher to get to the heart of the matter.
This youth found the world a chaotic mass of contradictions and, in his anxious eyes, any notion of happiness was completely absurd.
After that, the philosopher explains to him how life works its pros & cons and all the various types of emotions one goes with.
In total, the youth came 5 times which is termed as 5 nights in the book to seek the guidance of the philosopher.
However he was not the one who easily get convinced by the theory of the philosopher and used to question him now and then,
This is what makes the entire book quite interesting and at times mind-blowing.
In today's world with all the hustle and bouts we live with, it is a must-read for all of us.
It makes us view life, ourselves, and everything around and within in a much simpler manner. It isn't the life that is complicated, but us.
A simple book that conveys complex Adlerian ideas as lucidly as it can.
What I learned!!!
The central theme of Adler’s philosophy is life has no meaning, we assign meaning to it.
Life is about living passionately & truthfully in the present moments, as we have no control over the past & future.
Also, the power of courage is something I learned in the book.
The author rightly told that we have chosen unhappiness because we don't dare to be happy. When I read this first it sounded weird but slowly it's making sense.
"The world is a great mirror. It reflects you what you are."
If you are curious about understanding how some ideas go viral while others don't pick off,
Why do some companies become successful while others don't, then this book will provide all your answers.
The book deals with the advertising & marketing perspective of the idea since what is seen is what sells.
The tipping point means the point at which the consumer will start buying your products and will willingly promote them to others.
As per the theory of Krugman, the advertisement should be shown at least three times within its purchasing cycle.
The first time when customers see it, it asks "what is it"?
The second time when seeing it, it asks "So what"
The third time they take a decision "is this for me?
So now how do things become viral?
It is done with the help of three types of persons First connector, then Mevon & finally the salesman.
You don't have to promote your product to everyone At the start, you just have to focus on these three types of people who are also early adopters.
1) Connects- are one who knows everyone and has a broad contacts
2) Mevon - The word means "The one who stores knowledge" They are specialists in their field or thought leaders.
Mevons gives information about the products, Connectors tell them to everyone & Salesman finally sell them.
I loved the examples which the author has provided, How not just good but harmful ideas get virl which has to cause any trouble, the reason behind smoking & suicide has also been explained.
The book has perfectly explained how little steps can have huge effects on society.
Starting from the sale of Hushpuppies, and Airwalking to the ups and downs in crimes in New York and suicides in Micronesia; all the examples and the supporting research evidence are wonderfully placed.
"When it hurts observe, life is trying to teach you something."
The core purpose of the book was the debate between two mindsets - Fixed & growth.
I think by seeing the name you can get a hint of the difference between the two.
The growth mindset is founded on the notion that your basic qualities can be cultivated through endeavors, it believes everything can be learned with the right tutor & environment.
On other hand a fixed mindset people are reluctant to change, they believe in natural talent & luck and see efforts & failure as fruitless rather than as a corridor to mastery.
The entirety of the book is spent on examining these two mindsets fixed & growth and the advantages one can have in life if he/she follows the latter mindset.
The author gives examples of people in sports like Michael Jordan & Tiger woods as people who pursued the growth mindset.
Similarly, the field of arts & drawing which is always considered only for those who have inner talent is proved wrong by the author.
The same is with business & relationships having a growth mindset can solve many of your problems and can give many alternatives perspective to see things.
The book was good, the author has beautifully differentiated between the two mindsets and showed how having a growth mindset helps in almost all areas of life.
The only thing I disliked is the monotonous things coming in every time. The book doesn't show any clear way of building a growth mindset either.
It only has multiple and sometimes way too many examples of people with growth mindsets, and the author promotes her workshops. Examples are respected but a path to build that mindset would have been much better.
"Empty your mind.
Be formless, shapeless, like water.
You put water into a cup, it becomes the cup.
You put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle.
Now water can flow or it can crash.
Be water, my friend."
The book is written by the daughter of Bruce Lee. The title of the book is provoked by the above quotation of him, the purpose of writing is to enlighten people about the methods & philosophy of Bruce Lee. From an early age, he believed in the significance of the water, not just as a form of survival but as a source of power. Water can wander from the narrowest path and the same water can engulf a huge building. If one tries to attain the success they must be like water, adaptable yet powerful.
The author broke down the quotation of the author into chapters. In each chapter, she takes a particular sentence and goes on to describe it. I love the chapter on "emptying your mind" in which the authors illustrate that to comprehend new things we must first vacate our minds from the old proficiency. In the world of social media where we are receiving the same type of information again & again, it becomes very arduous to see various perspectives. This has led to intolerance among the masses who don't know how to listen.
It was through my Dad I heard the name of Bruce Lee, he watched his film all day. I did not become a big fan of his tho but used to admire him. However, this book opened my eyes to how much a legend Bruce lee was apart from his combatting moves.
This book fully examines the philosophy and meaning of Be Water My Friend. Browsing this I completely felt as if Bruce Lee himself was talking and teaching me.
5) 7 habits of highly effective people.
7 habits have been one of those privileged books which brought me into the amazing world of books.
Stephen R Convey was an international respect teacher, chairman, and founder of Convey Leadership center. He wrote this book in 1989 and it is divided into 2 parts.
1) Private victory
2) Public victory
The private victory part comprises three habits
1) Be proactive -Here convey emphasis to readers to take responsibility for every aspect of your life.
2) Begin with the end in mind - The habit is based on the principle that all things are cultivated twice. There is a mental creation first and physical creation then.
3) Put first thing first - Here he depicts a framework for prioritizing work aimed at short-term goals, at the cost of tasks that seems not to be urgent but are very important.
Then comes the second part which encompasses the remaining habits
4) Think win/win - The habit is founded on the paradigm that there is plenty for everybody, it sees life as a cooperative & not a competitive arena.
5) Seek first to understand than to understand- Here he emphasizes the significance of listening which no school prepares us.
He observes that giving out advice without understanding or listening to another person might result in the renunciation of that advice.
The remaining two habits are Synergize & Sharpen the saw. I loved this book a lot and I keep referring to it whenever I face any mental trauma. These seven habits are habits of effectiveness it provides a holistic integrated approach to personal & interpersonal effectiveness.
Favorite line- Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
Mukesh Bansal is an Indian businessman who founded the Indian fashion e-commerce company Myntra and currently serves as the CEO of cure. the fit of which he is also the co-founder.
Mukesh has been listed in the Best 40 Under 40 Entrepreneurs by Fortune magazine.
Coming now the book is based on decades of research in human performance and mastery.
The core theme of the book is to make the readers believe that everyone can become a genius if they have the right tools and passion.
The author portrays a 12 steps guide which shows of hero either fiction or real are form
Which are as follows
1) Ordinary life adventure – ( All hero starts ordinarily)
2) Call to adventure – (He becomes aware of a great adventure)
3) Refusal to call-
4) Meeting the Mentors
5) Crossing the threshold
6) Test, Enemies, and allies-( He meets his true friends and enemies )
7) Approach to innermost curve- (Comes face to face with ultimate danger)
8) Ordeal ( Battle for success begins )
9) Reward- ( He won the battle)
10) The road back- ( He goes back to where he started from)
11) Resurrection- (Final challenge which is greater than his life )
12) Return with the Elixir- ( Back to the ordinary world after achieving all the success and inner peace.
Secondly, the author talks about “deliberated practice”…
Here deliberate practice plays the role and becomes a key differentiator.
“Deliberate practice involves breaking down what you are trying to learn into smaller elements and specifically focusing on each step, pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone, and doing it again and again”.
Deliberate practice becomes a key differentiator between those who become Master and those who stay average.
Favorite line- Detachment is not that you own nothing but that nothing should owe you
Think like a monk is the first book written by Jay Shetty. In the book, he describes his experience of being a monk and spending time in an ashram and a lesson he learns from his senior monk.
The book is divided into three-part.
1) Let go
Each section has its uniqueness and reason
In the first section, “let’s go” explain that to grow in life, first we need to remove and let go of wrong things and people.
Things like Fear, Negative, and our own identity which is what you think about yourself as this body should be removed to understand new things.
The second section as named “Grow” shows concepts like Purpose and Routine which are vital elements for growing.
Apart from it shows how to control our mind, senses, and our ego while strengthening our intellect
The last section is quite interesting as it shows the power of gratitude and how to build relationships with help of that.
It shows that if you are pleased with yourself, everyone will love to stay with you.
Greatness starts with being grateful 💓
The book shows some vital elements to enable you to truly love yourself and how you can transform negative emotions into positive ones.💓
Earlier I thought of this book as any other self-help book lying on my bookshelf. However, reading it slowly I realized that this is not true and hope you too will agree.💓
The book starts with a little introduction about the author and his earliest childhood memories, which were not good at all due to financial problems plus his black skin which made the matter worse.💓
Then he tells about the importance of letting go of wrong people from your life and having self-love I.e. adding only those things and people which add value to your life.💓
The book is divided into six parts then 👇
1) A Matter of Vibes 🌷
2) Positive lifestyle Habits 🌷
3) Make yourself a priority🌷
4) Accepting Yourself🌷
5) Manifesting Goal: Mind Work🌷
6) Taking Action.🌷
Each part has 4 or 5 sub-sections in which the author first shares his life story or an experience and then gives a lesson to readers from that.💓
Some chapters like ” Power of good partner”, “Respect your uniqueness”, and “Change requires action” had a great effect on my thinking and I have started practicing them in my life.💓
Don’t stop when you are tired. Stop when you are done.
Can’t hurt me is the story of David Goggin a man who goes on the way from a frightened boy to a member of the hardest and deadliest force in the world i.e. SEAL.
In the book, he shares his life story and gives 6 challenges to the readers who want to get out of their comfort zone and reach their full potential.
Story detail 👇
David was a shy guy in his childhood who used to get bullied as well as beaten by his father who was a drunkard and used to behave rudely with the entire family. Soon things became out of control and he and his mother left the house.
They shifted to their grandmother’s house where he started going to school. Being the only black child in the school, he was used to bullying a lot.
Making his way to the SEAL was a tough task. You have to pass the “Hell week” where one has to bear all kinds of physical and mental tough exercises like staying awake the whole night in the water.
Doing 100+push ups and much more. He failed in his first attempt due to medical reasons but made but succeed the second time.
His entire story can be an inspiration for the ones who are lazy or have a blaming attitude. Be courageous and take charge of your life.
What you can learn from the book 👇
Challenge 1) = Make a journal, write down the factor which limits your growth plus write down every shit thing which has happened to you
Challenge 2) = We all lie to others as well as to ourselves also. So go in front of the mirror and tell your honest situation yourself. Its called the Accountability mirror
Challenge 3) = Dig out your journal again and write down all the things you don’t like to do or that make you uncomfortable.
Challenge 4) = Whoever you’re dealing with, your goal is to make them watch you achieve
what they could never have done themselves. Take their negativity and use it to dominate the task.
It’s one of the best self-help books I have ever read. The thing I like most is that every tips and trick given in the book are particles and from the author’s own life, No boring research or theoretical tactics are there.
Favorite line = 🌷Outliers are those who have been given opportunities—and who have had the strength and presence of mind to seize them.🌷
The book is about the luck factor that plays an important role in success. It shows the story of a few successful people who were no doubt talented but their luck also plays an important role in their path to success.
Key points 👇
Their something more important in life than talent or IQ it’s an opportunity. People like Bill Gates were talented but they were also at the right place and at the right time that’s why they achieve such incredible success. If they were born in Kenya they wouldn’t be that successful.
So never take 100% credit for your success.
2) 10,000 hours of law
Although you have opportunities it won’t work because an idea without execution is worthless and that requires practice.
Law states that you have to give 10,000 hours of practice to achieve mastery in any field.
Here the author is talking about world mastery it’s approx 10years that will make you a world master in any field
3) Practical intelligence
Practical intelligence is about Communicating, leadership, and decision-making skills.
If you want to achieve success in any field Practical intelligence plays a big role in it.
4) Power indexed
Obeying the authority is taught to us from the beginning but giving too much power to them can ruin your life. The author tries to portray this by the incident airplane crash where subordinates fear the capital and could not tell the correct fault which leads to the death of hundreds of people
Respect your superiors but never be afraid of them.
The book is best for college-going youth as it teaches that to get ahead in life there are various other factors than our college grade or network of people.
Bouns fact about the book👇
The book was debuted at number one on the bestseller lists for “The New York Times” holding the position on the former for eleven consecutive weeks.
Following these self-help books will surely change your life if you read and apply the principle but keep in mind that reading is not an end goal it is just a starting, what you do after reading will decide how your life will change.